Thinking Outloud!

Why do people hate on you? Is it because you have more than them. What actually does this mean more than somebody? does it mean that if we count the things that we have one would have more than the other? or does it mean that one has bigger and better things than another person? I’m confused, because if it was meant for you to have all the stuff the next person has you would have it.  Think about this, a person can have everything you wish you had but, be the most unhappiest person ever. You see things shouldn’t make you happy, life should. You’re here aren’t you? So, make the best of the day that is given to you. So go out and do just that. Some people will never have the chance to do the things that others can do.  So, what you have to do is keep it moving, and be happy with the cards that you were dealt. Just think it could be worse. So, what if you don’t have the best furniture in your house, so what if you don’t live in the nicest house, so what. Tell them if they don’t like it stay home. Real Talk … Have you ever encountered people who can always have something  to say about where you live? but always need help with something. -ahh yeah miss me with that one- they need help but always criticizing other people’s stuff like, your house is ugly or they’ll tell someone else everything that’s going on in your house, because the other person really wants to know because, she wants to show her she does everything better than you. Real Talk-  It’s like this, they may have better things than you but you’re happier than she’ll ever be.  Now which one would you rather be? Why is it when someone else form an opinion or spread bad news about you other people just go along with it?  It’s because they didn’t like you anyway, and they were just waiting for some stuff to jump off so, they can ride with the bull shit. You see real women persevere over any and all bull shit- Real Talk- You see, people who keep it real don’t have to tell anybody, it’s showed in everything that they do. Sometimes people side with other people against you because they want to be on the winning side. – wow, this is truly funny to me- or they think just because a person is who they are they gonna side with them no matter what. -Not me never- I would treat a person according to the way they treat me. A person should never take another person’s word for something and not find out for myself what the deal really is.  A person shouldn’t care how cool a person is or who they are (meaning family or friends), You should always be your own person and you should be able to make your own decisions, not someone else make that decision for you.


True to it

You know, real friends got your back not talk behind it.  Why is it that your Girl’, be talking behind your back to other people about everything she can imagine? I tell you why because either she’s unhappy in her relationship or she’s jealous of the relationships you have with other people.  She wants to be the one that gets noticed not you, who are you? There is no way possible two people are going to have the same effect on people.  It’s just not gonna happen because, one friend may be doing more than the other friend to get the recognition she is getting, while the other friend is not.  You have friends who think just because they’re doing all of this and that, that they should be the one getting the recognition.  Real friends stick by your side because they love you and care about you and they don’t want to see you in any kind of harms way.  Sometimes you have friends who can’t wait to see you coming especially when it  comes to bad news, so she can comfort you and get all the details to tell someone else ( She’s not true to it). You see a real friend will be there for you no atter what anyone tells her.  Scenario* If your girl’, has to be hospitalized and you want to go see her, are you going to ask someone elses opinion or are you going to go see your girl’?  if you find yourself in this place you are not a friend or the other person don’t mean anything to you.  Sometimes you have men who are jealous of the relationship you have with your girl’. Your man gets mad when you are on the phone with her talking for long periods of time. Then there’s the friends which whom you’ve only known for about five years verses yo’ girl of twenty years.  Your girl’ of twenty years gets jealous of the your new friend, she starts saying things about her that aren’t even true, like- she thinks she’s all that, or she thinks she’s cute. whatever- You always gonna have friends who don’t like each other but ahh, that would be their business not yours. If your friend had a situation going on with her would you tell everyone she knows to make her look bad or would you address her with it in private.  Friends that are true to it, knows this answer…….

Food for Thought

Why do women allow men to come into they’re lives and change it? why do men go out of their way to please a woman who ain’t worth two cents? Why do women allow men to call them bitches and hoes and then tell their friends oh he’s just tripping, he’ll be calling me later watch. huh? yeah right! Why do women think that only the pretty girls get good men? first of all you can’t see behind close doors , she could probably be the most miserable of all your friends. Looks fade but love don’t. Women and men should appreciate who they are and learn to except the fact that not everybody is gonna love you, -You Diva- Why do people try to change who a person is? Why do women love so hard? Why do men think with their weenies? lol! Why do we search our whole lifetime for real love? Why do people disrespect the ones they really love? Why do women accept bullshit excuses from men? If a man or woman doesn’t treat you the way you want to be treated then exit the door, their not worthy of you. Why do women cling to a no-good ass man?  Why do people use other people for whatever they can?  Why do women say we don’t need a man, yes we do we just don’t need the bullshit that comes with them…. (not all men are like this) anything that you allow, you deserve to reap the consequences or benefits which ever comes first or fits. Women need to stop allowing bullshit into their lives you don’t have to accept being called out your name in public or at home. Women should not allow men to interrupt what they are doing or got going on unless he’s talking about being committed. Ladies, if you want to be married you gotta start acting married. Do you really think that a man from the bar is gonna marry you? come on now let’s be real. If you want something you have to do all you can to get it. First of all ladies, A man looks for a wife not the other way around. Ladies you gotta stop hanging with your girls all the time, that’s the first thing, how can you be chosen if your husband to be gotta find you through a pack of other interesting chicks. Think about it, if you’re alone he gets to see your qualities. Believe me, men they watch you, just like you watch them. They know when you’re a hoe or a descent women. You see, men treat you accordingly. if you act a hoe then he’ll treat you like one bottom line. If you act like a lady he’ll treat you like one. Just checkout other people’s relationship, you’ll see what I’m talking about. Women get rid of your checklist of what he has to do in order to get with you. That’s bullshit, and you know it. Half the shit on your list he ain’t gonna do and you are gonna accept it because you love him. So ahh, let’s keep it real ok. Set realistic stuff  like honesty, a job, a good over-all should this be first-lol, wants to be in a committed relationship, willing to be friends with you, humble, courteous, charming, a good communicator, enjoy life, laughter, and whatever other interests you have. Maybe you might become interested in some of the things he does as well. For instance you listen to rap music but when you get with your husband, you start listening to what he listens to.  Right there you just made common ground with your man. That’s what love does it appreciates the other persons interests, I’m not saying you have to go along with everything but if you don’t someone else will you feel me? another thing, women we always saying or telling him what we ain’t gonna do, ahh I beg to differ you’ll do it, you just want tell your friends..Lol! aww ok, for you smart asses, get the right man in your life all that bullshit is gonna go out the window.. I promise you, you’ll be like- aww shit this, oh no he didn’t…


I’m reading this book by Hill Harper, so far what I have read has been a good read, but he pulled my hair back  with this he says, he date but he never commits because it is more comfortable. Then he said, whenever he meets someone he might be interested in he messes it up, not knowingly. I’m like come on Mr. Harper, get real, you only do these things you do because you have been allowed to pursue bullshit women who accept that kind of stuff. You know as long as the women accept it it’s cool. You know, I don’t think all the women accepted it, they were just fascinated with Mr. Harper because he is  an intelligent, charming, and beautiful black man, who has a problem with committing. I figured this much out and I’m only on page 47.  The name of his book is The Conversation, I got the Hard Cover (I like hard cover books they look better on the book shelf).  You gotta get this book it seems pretty interesting. I’ll update you all soon!!!!!!


Girlfriend* No one respects you, but you better respect them. Yeah right. If you don’t show respect you don’t get none. People think that girlfriends don’t hold any weight as far as, making decisions for whatever reason, incapable of handling situations when they occur, inadequate when it comes to cooking food, cause don’t nobody cook like me.-whatever- You got some people’s families who accept you for who you are and some you don’t. It is what it is. Families got to learn that even the girlfriends deserve respect. He chose her and he bought her around his family because ahh maybe he cares for her and he wants y’all to approve of his choice. Ahh but don’t get it twisted, you got men out here who can care less what they family thinks of their girlfriend because it ain’t about them. Now that’s what I’m talking about a brother who don’t let his family cloud his mind about what is best for him. Some guys think that their moma is the shit. We as women, come to  find this statement to not always be true. So, why is it that men think that their moma’s can never be wrong ahh wait, unless it’s something pertaining to him, then she’s wrong ass hell. -whatever- Then they have the audacity to ask you for your opinion.  Your response should be oh, I don’t know, that’s between you and yo’ moma.  This response will have him fired up or he will never tell you anything else about him disagreeing with his moma. Mother’s need to know when to back off. You know, as long as, the son allows his mother to reign supreme over you all’s relationship, that’s the way it’s gonna be. If you confide in you man, say- I really don’t like the comments that your moma makes when it comes to the way i do things in our house. ahh in a nice calm voice, I know this don’t always work but try. lol…Men say this a lot- remember that’s my mother. So your response should be and I’m your Woman and she needs to know her boundaries. Then wait on his reply, oh it’s probably gonna be a boyish look, because it’s gonna be hard for him to tell her that.


People need to know their boundaries– you need to know when something ain’t your business. Like when people are in a relationship, that’s their relationship not yours. When a couple is an a relationship you are to stay away from whatever problems they incur. The reason why is because, you really don’t know what’s going on and people tend to side with their family’s side. which majority of the time be the wrong thing to do,  it’s two sides to every story.  Boundaries are meant to be followed, now if you don’t follow them you’re bound to make trouble for yourself.  That’s really not the proper way to handle the situation. It is wise to communicate with your mate what the boundaries are gonna be.  If this hasn’t been communicated over well there’s bound to be some lumps given out or a lot of cursing going on. Who does the best at breaking boundaries-family members, mother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, sisters, and brothers of each others mate and occasionally friends dabble a little bit. Here’s some scenarios- you argue with your man and the next thing you know you’re getting a call from his mother, saying things she don’t have a clue about, it’s mainly about how she raised him and the infamous I believe him, because I find that hard to believe because he wouldn’t be acting like that. bullshit, he will, she don’t know him as a man in you all’s  relationship. She only knows him as a son.  Believe me she’s never gonna believe what you say especially if  he’s the favorite son or he’s the son that does everything for her.  Ladies, she don’t wanna loose that now do she? Lol….  If you are not the one she prefers him to be with, you got hell on your hands, and you can’t change that.  The only person capable of doing that is him. Will he or won’t he?  Ladies, I know there are some sisters out there you want to just strangle because she got loose lips, she don’t know when to mind her business and leave yours alone. It’s like if your mate didn’t tell your business to other people,  then they wouldn’t know and they couldn’t form an opinion about you. So, when you and your mate fall out or break-up the first thing people want to do is say all the negative shit that they can. I wonder why is that? I’ll tell you why misery loves company.  If they had their business in order they sho’ wouldn’t be worried about yours now would they? I don’t think so….

How Close Are You?

You know everyone wants to have someone who they can talk to about things. Sometimes you have to weigh some things out before you make  that decision because you are taking a chance of someone talking about your most personal stuff to someone else. Don’t be surprised if the information you told to someone really wasn’t between you and them.  Sometimes people can seem to be close to you but they are not really. They just like spreading your business to make themselves seem like they are in a better position then you. Huh? is what I would say to that. You have your so-called Girl’, I betcha you’re girl is the one who asks you everything she can think of. You know why? because she want to compare her life to yours.  Once she thinks that she knows everything about you,  she will use it against you in an argument. –ahh that’s yo’ girl tho’, you see I would keep her at bay. She could never get close to me like that. Real friends don’t shoot shit at you like that. You can always find a snake if you look hard enough always needy, always want you to go out your way but she never can because she don’t got it-sound familiar because it’s true, Can I borrow this can I borrow that I’ll pay you back, but she never does, she’ll always have an excuse why she can’t. Stop being taken for granted.  Woman up and tell her, I ain’t doing it no , find somebody else to flunky for you, I ain’t doing it, and when you do stand on it sit back and see what she does. If she comes correct keep her your girl, if not and she continues to be on that same shit dis-miss her bottom line. No regrets! You know, you have these same kinds of people in your family. They only want to see you when you got something and when you don’t the hell with you. Oh, and they never invite you to anything unless it’s beneficial to them, they would have to be getting something out of  it. When you go around family they always got something negative to say why is that? jealousy perhaps, hatred what? I don’t understand and guess what? I wouldn’t be trying to figure it out either.  I know  it’s always gonna be people who you’re gonna be close with may it be  family, friends, co-workers, what have you. You got people who think there lives are so much better than yours because all their shit is bigger and better than yours, like their  house or car. I wouldn’t give that any energy. Don’t pay any attention to that kind of stuff you see, I do recall the Devil doing the same sorta thing. Why wouldn’t you want all this? I’ll tell you why because if it was meant for you to have something you would have it. Never gloat over things that other people have be happy with what you got, cause whose to say you still will. You have people when they go around their family they be looked up and down, talked about in a negative way, judged by the path that they have chosen to take- never a follower be singled out as the bad sheep. That’s ridiculous but it is what it is. I want you all to, at every chance you all get to smother negativity. Don’t  let negative  things, thoughts and people cloud your mind, it’s a set-up for failure.  remember misery loves company

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